2.26.2009
MY ROCK N ROLL GIRL
This morning as Lu and I drove Clara to preschool, "Fame" by David Bowie came on the radio. After a few moments Clara yelled from the back seat saying "MOM! This is my most favorite song EVER! — it rocks the love right out of my body!!!!" Yes Clara, I think I know what you mean.
2.21.2009
CLEAN UP IN AISLE 2
My son led a high speed chase through Macy's department store with 2 sales clerks and moi in hot pursuit. Thankfully, no one was injured. Many, many, many racks of ladies socks, bras and underwear were however.
The trouble is, Lu has a laugh so contagious that I am often times not able to properly parent him. He was giggling like a maniac as he high tailed it behind cash registers, counters and other places the customer is not allowed (c'mon Lu, shopping 101). I would try (really, I swear) to sternly say "NO LU!" as he ducked and weaved out of my reach, looking over his shoulder and laughing hysterically as I grabbed a fistful of air. The minute I would catch him, he'd wiggle free, knowing full well I was completely under his evil powers of cuteness. Apparently, so were the Sales Ladies — bless their 60 year old, pant suit wearing, over made-up selves. They chased him too, not as fast as me, but they tried. And this made it even funnier to Lu, who's laugh would then of course render us useless. In the end, he laid down in the middle of the perfume department, making pretend snow angels, a path of destruction behind him.
I'm hoping that by the time they closed the store that evening, the southeast corner of the Rosedale Macy's looked a little less like tornado alley and a little more like a Woman's Undergarment Department. Oh Lulu, it will be a very long time before you set foot in Macy's again.
The trouble is, Lu has a laugh so contagious that I am often times not able to properly parent him. He was giggling like a maniac as he high tailed it behind cash registers, counters and other places the customer is not allowed (c'mon Lu, shopping 101). I would try (really, I swear) to sternly say "NO LU!" as he ducked and weaved out of my reach, looking over his shoulder and laughing hysterically as I grabbed a fistful of air. The minute I would catch him, he'd wiggle free, knowing full well I was completely under his evil powers of cuteness. Apparently, so were the Sales Ladies — bless their 60 year old, pant suit wearing, over made-up selves. They chased him too, not as fast as me, but they tried. And this made it even funnier to Lu, who's laugh would then of course render us useless. In the end, he laid down in the middle of the perfume department, making pretend snow angels, a path of destruction behind him.
I'm hoping that by the time they closed the store that evening, the southeast corner of the Rosedale Macy's looked a little less like tornado alley and a little more like a Woman's Undergarment Department. Oh Lulu, it will be a very long time before you set foot in Macy's again.
2.18.2009
BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND...
My hope is that once in a while another adoptive parent, or adoptive parent-to-be stumbles across this blog and finds some insightful commentary, some experience that I'm able to pass along or — at the very least — a chuckle at my bumbling efforts in the crazy world of parenting.
One of the most challenging aspects of being an adoptive parent is that your child has a history that you had no part in. The months and years that your child spent in the care of someone else. Without you. One could, for example, drive oneself crazy wondering if their child had been picked up and comforted when they fell down. If he or she went to bed hungry. If the birth mother or father of your child bent down and kissed them good-bye before they walked away? did they whisper secret confessions? promises? a family name? loving words as tears fell down their faces? Oh yes, one might spend moments in the wee night hours, gazing into the faces of their sleeping children, wondering these things. Such is the job of an adoptive parent.
My son has had a remarkable easy transition into our family. So much so, that I've worried he hasn't grieved, or processed the enormous changes that his 2 yr. old little mind had to work through. In all I've read and heard, I've taken to heart that the grieving process is vital for healthy development. That grieving at a young age will be easier than trying to process it at an older age. I've also read that many adoptive kids have real fears of being "taken back" to an orphanage, of loosing their forever families. So, how do I best support my 2 and a half year old, beautiful, happy, steady-as-a-rock son who wakes up in the middle of the night and asks "I want A'yi, Mommy, I miss A'yi" and "I go back Mom, I go back to Pink Castle?" (the nickname of Lu's orphanage) as he looks at me with his questioning deep brown eyes. Lu remembers. He was very lucky to get extremely loving, mostly one on one care from a kind young woman who we had the good fortune to meet. He remembers what she gave him and he misses her. He remembers crying the day she put him in my arms because when we talk about our time in China he says to me "I cry and cry and cry Mommy". Small tears trickle down his cheeks but he's quiet. My heart breaks. I hug him. This is grief. I tell him it's okay to feel sad. I tell him I love A'yi too. I take his little hand in mine at 3:00 a.m. and we go downstairs, get a plate of homemade cookies and glasses of milk and he sits in my lap as we eat them, a smile spreading across his face.
I don't know that my words or actions help Lu, I'm not sure I know what I'm doing ... He's on his 3rd night of waking up and asking for A'yi. Her picture is by his bed and he can hold it, I'm always right there and I listen as he asks again "I see A'yi Mom? Tomorrow? Tomorrow Mom?".
One of the most challenging aspects of being an adoptive parent is that your child has a history that you had no part in. The months and years that your child spent in the care of someone else. Without you. One could, for example, drive oneself crazy wondering if their child had been picked up and comforted when they fell down. If he or she went to bed hungry. If the birth mother or father of your child bent down and kissed them good-bye before they walked away? did they whisper secret confessions? promises? a family name? loving words as tears fell down their faces? Oh yes, one might spend moments in the wee night hours, gazing into the faces of their sleeping children, wondering these things. Such is the job of an adoptive parent.
My son has had a remarkable easy transition into our family. So much so, that I've worried he hasn't grieved, or processed the enormous changes that his 2 yr. old little mind had to work through. In all I've read and heard, I've taken to heart that the grieving process is vital for healthy development. That grieving at a young age will be easier than trying to process it at an older age. I've also read that many adoptive kids have real fears of being "taken back" to an orphanage, of loosing their forever families. So, how do I best support my 2 and a half year old, beautiful, happy, steady-as-a-rock son who wakes up in the middle of the night and asks "I want A'yi, Mommy, I miss A'yi" and "I go back Mom, I go back to Pink Castle?" (the nickname of Lu's orphanage) as he looks at me with his questioning deep brown eyes. Lu remembers. He was very lucky to get extremely loving, mostly one on one care from a kind young woman who we had the good fortune to meet. He remembers what she gave him and he misses her. He remembers crying the day she put him in my arms because when we talk about our time in China he says to me "I cry and cry and cry Mommy". Small tears trickle down his cheeks but he's quiet. My heart breaks. I hug him. This is grief. I tell him it's okay to feel sad. I tell him I love A'yi too. I take his little hand in mine at 3:00 a.m. and we go downstairs, get a plate of homemade cookies and glasses of milk and he sits in my lap as we eat them, a smile spreading across his face.
I don't know that my words or actions help Lu, I'm not sure I know what I'm doing ... He's on his 3rd night of waking up and asking for A'yi. Her picture is by his bed and he can hold it, I'm always right there and I listen as he asks again "I see A'yi Mom? Tomorrow? Tomorrow Mom?".
2.14.2009
FIVE.
We celebrated Clara's 5th birthday on Feb. 10. WOW, 5 is thee cornerstone to growing up. Each day I see how much more independent she's becoming, so much more involved in what I'm doing, so much more interested in having deep conversations and I hear in her voice how the world is making more sense, how the frame of her foundation is taking shape and her little life is being built up and outward from mine. Amazing, scary, a bit sad, a lot happy and a giant reminder that I need to pay close attention, she will be all grown up way too quickly.
Happy Birthday my dear, sweet, curious, beautiful, funny, inspiring, kind hearted, determined, sensitive, strong, brilliant, talkative, chubby cheeked, dimple faced, imaginative, lovely, creative, awe inducing child. I love you with all my heart. And then some.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
