BEDTIME CONVERSATIONS

The serious, deep thinking conversations with my kids happen at bedtime. It's about the only time their bodies are still and they have the time to process thoughts, ideas, worries and questions. And I'm pretty certain, the hope of starting a conversation engaging enough to stay up just a little bit longer. It's a rare moment when you feel as though the process of adoption can be used to your advantage in explaining tough things, but as I was talking to Lu the other night, and flying by the seat of my pants I might add — it came in pretty handy!

LU: "Mom, are you gonna die?"

ME: (blindsided, oh crap, I'm SO not prepared for this) "Um, yes Lu, everything that's alive will die someday, even Mommy, but not for a long, long, long time."

LU: "But I don't want you to die"

ME: (damn that "I love you forever" book) I know honey, but when that happens you'll be all grown up and be able to take care of yourself, and I'll always be right inside in your heart with you."

LU: (starting to cry) But I don't want to grow up and I want to be with you forever!"

ME: "Even when we die Lu, we'll be still together, we'll find each other again"

LU: "But how? I won't know how to find you"

ME: (smiling) "You wont have to find me, I'll find you. Remember when you were a little baby in China, you were on the other side of the world, so far away from me, but I found you didn't I"?

LU: (thinking) "yes..." (smiling) "You did find me Mom! You flew far, far on an airplane and you DID find me!"

ME: "Yes, I did. I will always find you Lu, you are my son and I am your Momma"

LU: "I love you Mommy"

ME: "I love you too Lu, so, so, so, so, so, so ,so, so, so, so, so, so, so much"