The serious, deep thinking conversations with my kids happen at bedtime. It's about the only time their bodies are still and they have the time to process thoughts, ideas, worries and questions. And I'm pretty certain, the hope of starting a conversation engaging enough to stay up just a little bit longer. It's a rare moment when you feel as though the process of adoption can be used to your advantage in explaining tough things, but as I was talking to Lu the other night, and flying by the seat of my pants I might add — it came in pretty handy!
LU: "Mom, are you gonna die?"
ME: (blindsided, oh crap, I'm SO not prepared for this) "Um, yes Lu, everything that's alive will die someday, even Mommy, but not for a long, long, long time."
LU: "But I don't want you to die"
ME: (damn that "I love you forever" book) I know honey, but when that happens you'll be all grown up and be able to take care of yourself, and I'll always be right inside in your heart with you."
LU: (starting to cry) But I don't want to grow up and I want to be with you forever!"
ME: "Even when we die Lu, we'll be still together, we'll find each other again"
LU: "But how? I won't know how to find you"
ME: (smiling) "You wont have to find me, I'll find you. Remember when you were a little baby in China, you were on the other side of the world, so far away from me, but I found you didn't I"?
LU: (thinking) "yes..." (smiling) "You did find me Mom! You flew far, far on an airplane and you DID find me!"
ME: "Yes, I did. I will always find you Lu, you are my son and I am your Momma"
LU: "I love you Mommy"
ME: "I love you too Lu, so, so, so, so, so, so ,so, so, so, so, so, so, so much"
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Our family will soon grow from 3 to 4 with the addition of our son Lu, born on June 7, 2006.
The Chaputs
- Mel, Pete and Clara
- We're excited and proud to be adding to our family with a second adoption from China. We'll update our progress and add photos over the next few months as we work toward bringing Lu home.
1 comment:
Perfect answers, Mel. You have, once again, brought tears to my eyes.
Reminds me of a recent conversation with Sarah, who has, up until recently, wanted to be a veterinarian.
Sarah: "Mom, do you have to go to college to be a vet?"
Me: "Yes."
Sarah: "Well, then I don't want to be a vet."
Me: "Why not? You love animals."
Sarah: (Beginning to cry.) "Because I'll have to move away from you!"
Me: "By the time you go to college, you'll be older and might just want to move away. But you can also go to college in Minneapolis and live at home."
Sarah: "Okay, but I'm still not sure I want to go to college."
Great.
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