FAMILY DYNAMICS

When you become a parent through international adoption, there are several various components that define your family. The reality is that most children come from institutionalized care and the older they are at adoption, the harder the work in teaching them to be become dependent on a Mother or Father. Most experts agree that adopting parents should treat their child as a newborn, giving them bottles, lots of lap time and attachment-style parenting.

It's understandable to see how an independent 2 yr. old is a much easier charge when you are one Auntie caring for several children. Lu is potty-trained, can put his shoes and socks on and mostly dress himself. He climbs stairs and navigates playground equipment with a confidence that makes my heart stop. The muscles this child has are remarkable! He also insists on brushing his teeth by himself, washing his face and hands and putting his own lotion on. Any interference in his attempts to be independent result in a standard 2 yr. old tantrum. I'm convinced that we need to insist on doing things for Lu — tantrum or not, including holding his bottle for him at night, which we're trying to make his pre-bedtime routine. Lu is also just as likely to approach a stranger, arms held out to be picked up, as he is to come to Pete or I in a public place. We need to teach him that he has a Mom and Dad who belong to him and thats where his comfort, love, affection and needs should come from. He is already making progress in these areas and today when I laid down with him for a nap, he said over and over again as he began to doze off "I love you", words he's already becoming familiar with.

In the sense of family dynamics, we have plenty of the every day, garden variety excitement that comes with two kids. Mealtime spills, power struggles over toys, who can scream the loudest contests, BM diaper blow-outs—all while the other child sitting on the potty is yelling for a wiper to come help.

Everyday seems to bring us closer to the region of sanity, for a while there I thought we'd lost our way for good. We're almost totally back on MN time, Pete's returned to work and my antibiotics have kicked in (a few days after being back the doc. diagnosed me with Bronchitis, Strep throat, a dbl ear infection and a virus in my eyes! Ah, the pleasure of international travel)